Why He's Not Leaving His Wife. Why She's Not Leaving Her Husband.

He's not leaving because he doesn't want to. She's not leaving because married life is easier.
We all know someone, are friends with someone or dated someone who is
n a constant state of "separation" — or worse, on and off with his or her husband or wife.
1. He doesn't want to.
He's not divorcing his wife because he doesn't want to. If he really wanted to, he would.
There are very few reasons for someone to delay a divorce other than fear or simply not wanting to. He's not leaving his wife because he's probably still in love with her.

2. He's too comfortable.
He's not leaving his wife no matter how badly he kvetches about her because he's comfortable. It's nice not paying alimony and child support. It's nice staying in your own home. And if he has kids, it's nice not sharing them.

3. He doesn't want to lose time with his kids.
He's got kids and he's afraid of losing time with them, afraid of how his wife will parent them and fears she may be negligent or afraid of paying for them. He's afraid of how they will take the news, how they will cope.
But if he really is unhappy, he will still leave his wife. For my ex and I, we worried about our kid, but we did what we felt was best for everyone's happiness.

4. He fears for her stability.
He stays because she's not stable and he enables this. He stays because he fears for her. He stays and fools himself into thinking he can make things better.

5. He wants things to get better.
Because he doesn't really want a divorce. It's all threat.

6. He can see other women on the side and still keep his comfortable life.
Why should he break up his family when he can see other women on the side for sex and companionship? Why should he be inconvenienced? He's a selfish jerk. He stays because he can have his cake and eat it, too. He stays because he can Facebook his exes and flirt. He stays because he will online date anyway, despite his "status."

7. He doesn't think she can do it on her own.
He stays because he says she can't survive financially, forgetting that he will be paying out to some extent and that she can always work. Unless she's sick. If she's sick, he may stay because she's not well.

8. He stubbornly doesn't want to part with his money.
Yes, women can end up paying alimony and child support but it's more common for men, and he doesn't want to part with his dough or pay for a lawyer or mediator.

9. He's being emotionally abused.
Emotional abuse has fooled him into thinking that this type of marriage is normal.

10. He's fearful.
He's afraid of the unknown, and staying is a known. Sometimes the devil you know is better than the one you don't.

On the flip side, women don't leave their husbands for a variety of reasons. She complains about him non-stop. He's abusive. Mean. Controlling. Doesn't pay attention to her.

Or, you reconnect with her on Facebook or meet her online, and she says they're separated or they're "going to be separated soon." Yet the date keeps getting pushed back.
What does that mean? Maybe they live separately. Maybe they're "living together" until she can get a job or get a lawyer or get the guts to end it (that will most likely never come).

No matter what the case, he's still her husband. It doesn't matter who you are in relation to the Wife Who Won't Leave Her Husband — ex- boyfriend reconnected on Facebook, best friend or sister —  because the end result is the same: She's not getting a divorce. Why?

1. She doesn't want to.
Whether she's your BFF who has been talking about a divorce since the dawn of time or a flirtatious woman you met online, she's not divorcing because, like the Guy Who Won't Leave, she doesn't want to leave him. She's probably still in love.

2. She's too comfortable.
She, like the man, doesn't want to lose her home or move or have to go back to work or have to manage on her own. She stays because she doesn't want to lose time with her kids. She stays because it's comfortable.

3. She's scared of finances.
She's afraid to swing it on her own, especially if she's not educated or currently working. She stays because she's a stay-at-home mom and likes it that way. She stays because the idea of doing it solo is frightening. She stays because getting a job seems more daunting than living a life complaining about your happiness.

4. She doesn't think she can do better.
A man could think the same way, but more often than not it's a woman who doesn't believe she deserves better. Who thinks that, somehow, this is the best guy she's going to sna
Because she's used to dysfunction.

5. She can get emotional attention elsewhere and still have comfort.
She stays because she can flirt and have emotional affairs, all while living in a married "stable" home. She may be having affairs and online trysts. Having your cake and eating it too is pretty sweet, right? And goddamn selfish.

6. She doesn't want to leave the kids.
She stays because she can't imagine him caring for the kids without her. She stays because he might be a negligent parent otherwise. She stays because she worries about how the kids will take it. That the idea of sharing the kids is unbearable.
But still, if someone is unhappy, they will divorce for the kids' sake and his or her own happiness.

7. Lawyers are too damn expensive.
She knows divorce is expensive. The idea of which is so paralyzing, she stays, not taking into consideration
 that being unhappy is a higher price to pay.

8. She thinks things will get better.
 Because she doesn't really want a divorce. It's all threats.

9. She's being abused.
Physical or mental, the abuse is so pervasive that she can't see a way out.

10. She fears for his stability.