If you are in an unhealthy marriage, you may feel depressed, trapped and
powerless to change your predicament. However, finding a more
fulfilling life can be attained by taking charge of your situation and
making a move to get out of your relationship.
If you have tried
everything in your power to attain a better relationship with your
spouse, but the marriage continues to be unhealthy, it may be time to
let go. Analyze your relationship, overcome any fears that are holding
you back and communicate with your spouse about your decision to let go
of the unhealthy relationship.
Analyze Your Relationship
Analyze what about your
relationship is unhealthy, and make a list of everything about your
marriage that you simply cannot live with anymore. Although you are
probably already aware that you need to get out, writing down your
reasoning will give you the closure you need and it will help you
develop a strong case if your spouse attempts to talk you out of your
decision. Do not underestimate the stress that your bad marriage is
causing you.
Overcome Your Fears
You may fear ending your unhealthy
marriage because of your spouse's reaction, what will happen to your
children (if you have any), or the type of response you may get from
your family and friends. However, the only person who can decide if you
need to let go of your marriage is you. You should not stay in your
marriage because you fear being alone and may have to deal with
financial obstacles or social issues attached to the ending of your
marriage.
Confront Your Spouse
After you have made a list of everything
you cannot deal with in your marriage, inform your spouse of your
decision and explain your reasoning. If you feel like your marriage is
in 'survival mode,' you can no longer effectively work through your
problems, Let your spouse know that you have tried to work through your issues,
but that you ultimately see no solution and feel in need of a clean
break. If your self-esteem is suffering, your spouse has no desire to
change, there is no respect between the two of you and you do not share
common goals, your marriage is most likely unworkable.
Do Not Be Manipulated
After you have analyzed your
relationship, overcome your fears and confronted your spouse about your
decision, do not be manipulated into staying in your marriage when you
know in your heart that it is unhealthy. You most likely have been
manipulated by your partner in the past, and may feel powerless to do
anything about it. However, since you have made the decision to get out
of an unhealthy marriage, you are capable of doing what you know is
right for you and your family.
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