When You're Attracted to Someone Who Isn't Your Spouse

The stereotype of an adulterous affair in marriage has typically been the picture of a cheating husband. The man has a one-night stand on a business trip or falls in love with his secretary. I guess it never occurred to us that for every cheating man, there must also be a cheating woman.


Every affair begins with a temptation—an attraction. Unfortunately, most of us have no idea what to do when a man other than your husband starts to pay attention to you. It feels good to be pursued again, especially if your marriage is in the doldrums.

While temptation is unavoidable, sin is still inexcusable. Even if you feel overwhelmingly attracted to another man (or woman), unfaithfulness doesn’t have to be your destiny. God has promised to provide a way out for those who are willing to run to him.

How many affairs would be avoided if we would simply anticipate that it’s normal to be tempted? Yes, there will always be men more attractive than your husband, and there will be someone who seems to have all the strengths that your husband lacks. The day will likely come when you find yourself drawn to someone who appears to be better suited for you than your husband.

Since you know this day will come, prepare for it now. Remember in elementary school all of the times you had a fire drill or tornado drill? Why do we have drills? To prepare for a real danger during a time that is not a crisis. Using that same wisdom, come up with a plan now of what you will do when temptation comes. How will you respond? Who will you call for help?